So ever since my parents so kindly allowed me to join the every growing community of web suffers I’ve been a outstanding loyal member. Perhaps, too loyal? The internet provides a wealth of information and entertainment to those who seek it. Over the years I’ve grown to be inseparable from this web of networks. Yes, I am admitting my addiction to the internet. When I’m not with friends, family, work or school, I’m interneting. I’ll either be searching for new information about up coming games or looking up whats new with anime. Mix in some random searches about paranormal or global news and you got my current life situation in a nut shell.

Now this addiction isn’t a complete loss for me. Thanks to the internet I am able to display my art to anyone at any time from all over the world. This reason alone is more than enough incentive for me to keep drawing. You guys don’t know how much your attention affects my inspiration.

Now the reason this post is titled “My Double Edged Blade” is because the internet is my weapon for exposure and inspiration but at the same time my biggest source of distraction. I’ve come to realize this based off previous experiences where I was left with no internet and a single thought comes to my head. “I should draw.” This has happened almost every time.(As a matter of fact, it’s the reason why the last drawing was done)

I’m not entirely sure how to over come this. Simply going out doesn’t have the same effect on me as loss of internet. The closes feeling I get to it is when I’m at work or at school. The unfortunate exception is that work tires me to a point of no drive to accomplish anything and school trumps all other priorities.

I remember back in the fall of 2008 when I wasn’t working and surviving purely off government college money. Thanks to all the free time (which was mostly occupied by web surfing) I was able to get plenty done. Heck, I even completed another game.(although earlier in the year) It would be nice to go back to those days. I could actually create something with merit. Something worth selling. Something that could allow me to live without slaving away at these shitty hourly jobs.(you can tell how much I hate my current job can’t you? lol)

Ultimately, I feel I will reach this point. I have to, I’ve been doing this for to long to just let everything go to waste. I have to change this double edge blade of mines into a single, godly, fortified, hattori hanzo masamune. The question is, will it be used for good(my exposure via my artwork) or bad(pure entertainment and life wasting)

Only time will tell.